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Rachel Thompson

Aicha Zoubair

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Author Interview – Samantha Barrett

Tell us about your new book? What’s it about and why did you write it? At age 35 I was still suffering from things that happened in my life when I was ten years old.  When I heard, I think on Oprah, that one way of getting rid of negative thoughts that repeat like a recording in your mind, was to write them down, I tried it.  As the words left my mind and onto the paper, so did the pain, suffering and humiliation.  Half way through the journal, I realized I had to publish it to prevent other children from feeling the way I did, wanting to commit suicide at ten years old.  I was more afraid of living than I was of dying, I wasn’t afraid of pain, physical pain was much easier to deal with than the emotional pain I was living with, but I was Catholic.  I knew this life was  painful, and sad, but it would end one day.  Hell was for eternity.  Catholics are told if you commit suicide you go to hell I no longer believe that, but I did at ten years old. I had body dysmorphia, I was told a lie and it stuck.  I was told that I wasn’t pretty and nobody would ever marry me.  It didn’t hurt my feelings, it terrified me.  I didn’t know any ugly people.  Everyone was beautiful, what happens to ugly people I wondered  with fear. Then one day when I was 12 years old, I had sex with a seventeen year old boy and for the first time in my life, while he was on top of me, I felt beautiful.  I became addicted to sex immediately and did it with anyone, anywhere so I could have that feeling.  The book describes my childhood, including signs to look for in your own children, my teen years when the drugs and alcohol are needed to lower inhibitions, some crazy sexual experiences including porn sites and swing clubs, my marriage through to my recovery.  It is a self help book but some of the sex is explicit, and therefore is a book for adults only.

If you could have a dinner party and invite anyone dead or alive, who would you ask? Jesus, to find out the truth and stop all the religious wars; Marilyn Monroe, to find out about her death make sure she knows how many people still worship her. My grandfather who owes me an apology. Oprah to say thank you; everything I’ve learned as an adult I learned from The Oprah Winfry Show. My best friend who I haven’t seen in over 13 years.  My husband, because we do everything together!

When you are not writing, how do you like to relax? Yoga

Do you have any tips on how writers can relax? Yoga, you don’t have to be limber or thin; you can take a class called chair yoga, where you do everything sitting down.

Sometimes it’s so hard to keep at it – What keeps you going? This book was dying to get out of my head so I couldn’t stop.  12 hours some days…the information was mine so I was unable to stop until I got to the end.


Author Samantha Barrett says that Memoirs of a Sex Addict was initially written to help heal herself. It is her sincere hope that it will also benefit others who have suffered as she has with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, a disorder which led directly to sex addiction and many of the reckless adventures recorded in this book. For her, BDD was a very rough ride, so some of the language and emotions in these pages are also rough. It had to be that way, she says, in order to tell the true story. The betrayals were many, including of her husbands, and there was never a shortage of men willing to take advantage of her. Even a counselor in an inpatient addiction hospital found her to be easy prey. Of course, the greatest betrayal was of herself. Some of what she did will come across as wild, reckless, even self-indulgent, but the common theme with alcohol and drug addicts is that she couldn’t stop herself.

Dr. Irvin Milowe, MD, and professor of psychiatry at the University of Miami, calls Memoirs of a Sex Addict “a very thoughtful trip into an addiction, that also shows the route out.” And while Ms. Barrett is indeed eager to help others avoid her plight, she doesn’t hide the details of her excursions.

For Samantha Barrett the journey into addiction began during her childhood, with being bullied in the home in what might seem a benign way. “The media,” she says, “has been telling us about bullies at school and on the internet, but we rarely hear of bullies living under the same roof. We assume that parents will prevent anything hurtful to their children. But what if they are not aware? What may be “harmless teasing” for one child, could be devastating to another.

A child may be hiding the pain. I was told that I was ugly, that no man would ever marry me. This led to a disease called Body Dysmorphic Disorder or BDD, a disease that distorted the way I saw myself and led me to obsess over flaws that may not have even be present. We hear tragic stories of drug and alcohol addiction. My addiction was different. Sex was my “drug of choice.” Only sex could take away my pain of feeling “ugly.” As soon as a man was on top of me or giving me attention, I felt beautiful. Often, alcohol went along with this behavior, but sex was the one I had no control over. Hopefully, the stories in this book will encourage parents, teachers and caregivers to be more aware of what is being told to or heard by their children.”

Buy Now @ Amazon

Genre – Biographies & Memoirs / Self-Help

Rating – R

Connect with Samantha Barrett on Facebook & Twitter

Website http://www.memoirsofasexaddict.com/


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